My journey leading up to the diagnosis of MS began in 2007.This is now my life and there is nothing I can do to change it. Coming to terms with something of this nature is not an easy thing and does not happen on one single day. It has surpassed any struggle I have dealt with thus far and continues to pull at me daily. I am coping the best that I can and want to share my story to hopefully network with other people in my situation.
Looking back at my medical records, we think my first episode was in late 2007. I had went to my Dr which I rarely did since I was fairly healthy but I was not feeling well. My arms, legs and face were numb and tingly and went on for a couple of weeks. This numbness and such could not be explained and was thought to be some muscle issue and probably caused by my obesity. We just kind of swept it under the rug and I did nothing about my weight for an extremely long time. I thought it was weird but did not dig around for answers. I also had back issues, headaches, and depression which I went in to see the Dr for but there was never anything serious. We had no idea or other inclinations that something may be stirring inside my brain and spinal cord.
Then in 2010 I decided I was fed up with being a fat girl and joined Weight Watchers again for the gazillionth time. I didn't feel unhealthy because of my weight and I was always overweight even since early childhood. I did not love the way I looked but was comfortable with it but literally one day woke up and said I want to lose weight. I actually put my all into losing weight and it started coming off with their point system and regular exercise. I started looking great and felt okay but not as well as I had expected with weight loss. I started wondering why I felt sick and was tired a lot and just figured it was because my life was so stressful and crazy. My depression got worse and I became very anxious and started having panic attacks for the simplest things, I was like a grenade just waiting for explosion. I could not understand why I felt so crazy if I was happy for the most part and don't feel like my stress level was any higher than the normal person. Little did I know these were symptoms of MS.
In 2011 I went to my Dr again for an odd reason, I was feeling dizzy and had serious vertigo. Again we ended up just tossing it to the sidelines. What the hell??? What non-pregnant person gets vertigo and dizziness for no apparent reason. I became a frequent flyer at my Dr's office and went in for everything that came up. I made a fond relationship with this woman who was treating me for god knows what i.e. low blood pressure, low blood sugar, stress, depression, anxiety,insomnia, the list could continue forever. She eventually decided she had no idea what was going on with me and called me a mystery woman. I decided to diagnose myself with Hypochondriacism and thought I called it a day. Unbeknownst to me it was not a day but a beginning to the rest of my life.
In February 2012 I woke up on Superbowl Sunday went to workout at the gym with my boyfriend. I had a little bit of a headache but thought it was because I hadn't eaten breakfast. I went and had coffee with a new friend and noticed my headache getting worse and worse. By the time I got back from the meeting I felt horrible, took some migraine medicine and tried to get on with my day. I ate a bunch of crap that day and still felt horrible I even ended up vomiting which I never do. I thought I just had a really bad migraine and tried to rest it off. The next day I woke up and still had the headache but just thought maybe it would take a little longer to go away. After about a week I went to my Dr and she said it was probably just a migraine that needed a little longer, she prescribed migraine medicine, rest, fluids and plenty of sleep. Sleep was a very funny thing which I knew nothing about but I sure did try. After nothing helping and having a constant headache for 3 weeks my Dr ordered an MRI to see if there was anything causing the pain. I went in on the 22nd of February to have the MRI. That was a lot of fun on top of my headache hearing weird really loud noises for an hour and being given a shot of contrast. A couple of days later got a call from my Dr saying I needed to come in to go over results and I started flipping out. I thought I had cancer or a hemmorhage or something but definitely not MS.
My MRI showed lesions which her suggestive of Ms. When I read Multiple Sclerosis on my report I freaked out because my paternal grandmother had MS. She died in her 60's but was diagnosed late in life and died from other causes. My Dr said she could not say 100% that I had or did not have MS, she did not think I had any of the classic symptoms and thought my headache had nothing to do with the MS. She referred me to a Neurologist which I had seen in the past for headaches. I saw him on February 28th and he was positive it was MS. He said I had many lesions and they looked like MS. He decided we should do a spinal tap to be sure and that was scheduled for a month later.
March 28th I had the spinal tap which was the best experience of my entire life. I hate needles and being poked and I am a total baby when it comes to pain. My neurologist had a hard time tapping my spinal cord and poked me about 10 times. He finally got it but I was in so much damn pain afterwards it was unbearable. I stayed home that day in bed and was waited on by my family. I am the baby of 3 kids, both my parents live here and my older sister. I have a brother that lives about 8 hours from us. The next day I got up to go to work and proceeded like usual. While I was in the shower I started to get a headache that was not like any other I had. Oh shit is this the spinal headache that they were talking about, just lovely! I had been headache free for a few weeks so this is not what I wanted. I went to work but after being up out of bed for about an hour I could not stand the pain and had to go back home. I called my neurologist and told him about the headache and he recommended just going back to bed and stay there for the day. He said if by the next morning I was not better he wanted me to get a blood patch. I stayed in bed and prayed that I would not have to have a blood patch and be poked yet another time.
Long behold the next morning I woke up got out of bed and immediately laid back down. The headache was excruciating and debilitating. Nothing like I have ever felt in my whole life and mind you I have 2 children which I had vaginally with meds of course but still felt pain. I called my neurologist and he told me to head to the hospital to register and one of the anesthesiologist was going to do my blood patch. The anesthesiologist was very handsome and sweet and explained the whole process and everything he was going to do. He took blood from my vein and injected it into my spinal cord so that my fluid would stop leaking up into my head and causing me pain. He also had a hard time getting into my spine he said my back muscle was very tough and hard to get through. He got it though and as soon as I sat up I felt like a brand new woman.
A few days after the spinal tap I called my neurologist to get results and he told me conclusively that it was MS. He talked for awhile about treatment and who knows what because I was dumbfounded. I had an inclination but did not think I actually had it. That evening I went home and totally blew my new way of eating and have been struggling ever since, that was 3 months ago. I am and always have been an emotional eater and my emotions have been getting the best of me. I told all of my friends and family members, well everyone that I had not previously told. I started researching and even went to Stanford school of medicine for a second opinion. I got the same opinion from them and also got offered medication. Woo hoo I shot everyday because I love shots so much, no way!!!!
I could talk about how this all came about forever but there is no point. The point is that I now have this disease (title) which I can never get rid of so I have to use it to my advantage and help as many other people with the same bearings as possible. I plan on writing on my new blog and reaching out to the MS community through our support group and the NMSS. I will embrace any feedback you have and hope that I did not lose anyone in my mumble jumble!
Estefana
New MS'er/Blogger
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