Today another one of those amazing MS things that I love happened. I needed to go grocery shopping and decided after church would be a good time. I didn't think about how busy it would be and what the weather would be like at the time but soon after I got to the store I realized how not smart it was. I had a pretty big list of food and should have taken some reinforcements with me but I was flying solo. I always make a list and I even put things in order of where they are in the store. My store even has an app so I know which things I am going to buy are on sale. I had to make a quick stop before the grocery store and at that point I wanted to just go back home. It was hot and everyone and their mothers was out shopping. We really needed food so I just rolled with my plan.
I started out okay going down only the aisles I needed to but about 15-20 minutes into it I started having extreme brain fog and started cruising around different aisles aimlessly looking for things when I knew exactly what I needed. I don't know exactly how long I was in the store but it felt like forever and my boyfriend said I was gone a really long time. When I was ready to checkout I was so weak from pushing around all of these groceries I could hardly put stuff on the conveyor belt. I got up to the cashier and was completely out of it but managed to write out my check and pay her after asking some really stupid questions and forgetting to give her my coupons and reusable bags. Good thing I was not using my debit card because that is always a disaster.
There were some things that were rung up wrong on my receipt and I could not for the life of me get the girl at customer service to figure it out so I just took the loss and asked her to get me some help out. Here I am a young healthy looking woman having an even younger lady push my cart to my car and load my groceries for me. I made sure to put my sunglasses on because I knew the tears were coming. They started on the way to the car because I felt like absolute shit. I got in my car turned it on rolled down the windows and blasted the ac. I wanted to call for help because I did not think I could manage driving home but my phone was dead so I just sat and cried. My pity party lasted for about 10 minutes and then I decided to go home. I made it very slowly and probably not driving too safe but I got home. I asked my boyfriend to unload the groceries and told him it was a horrible trip and I am never doing it alone again! After resting for a bit I made dinner and did some dishes. I love to cook and made a vow to myself to not let MS keep me from cooking daily. Regardless of how I feel I am not going to let MS take away something that makes me happy and feel good. So far it has gone well but there have been many times I have wanted to throw in the towel.
I just finished reading a book called "No More Secs! by Ann Pietrangelo. Really good and authentic account of someone living with Ms. I actually got the cooking dinner idea from her and a few other things like this blog. It really does help being able to read about other people's battles with MS and learn from them. We all have our own demon's to fight but in the bigger picture of things they are the same!
Estefana
No comments:
Post a Comment